There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.