There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.