The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?