The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?