THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.