More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.