These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'