These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.