These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

A compliment is verbal sunshine.