Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.