Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.