Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."