Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.