Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.