Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.