Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.