Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Individuality' is the key to success.

A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.