It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.