A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.