A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.