To exercise is human; not to is divine.

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

To exercise is human; not to is divine.