To exercise is human; not to is divine.

A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.