Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.