We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.