In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.