In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'