When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don't become stupid!

Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.