Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes

To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.' Because you have that initial warm feeling going, 'Oh, I remember this'. And your body does, too. And your body goes, 'Yeah, so do I'. Then the demon voice comes, 'Yeah, so do I. You know what would be great? You know we bought a little bottle before? A full bottle would be wonderful'.