To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.

You appreciate little things, like walks on the beach with a defibrillator.

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said the only hope -and it's a strange thought - is if they put the button to launch the nuclear war behind a man's heart. The President, then, with a rusty knife, would have to cut out the man's heart, kill the man, to get to the button.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds