To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.

If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.

We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we're shopper-borrowers.