Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.

Never go to Pluto, it's a Mickey Mouse planet.

Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn't matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

I'm fascinated by the new iPhone. I bought it and kept trying to use it in France. "Siri, what is a good restaurant?" (In a robotic voice.) "I'm sorry, Robin. I can't give locations in France." "Why, Siri?" "I don't know." It's like she was upset with the French or something. "They seem to have an attitude I can't understand. Should I look for Germans, Robin?"

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.