I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

It's the same sex all the time.

If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block."

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.