In truth I never really liked any of the heavy drugs, because normally my energy is up when I'm performing, and that's about it. Cocaine is nothing new. It's the pressure, I think. People use it to relieve that, and for me it is about getting numb and forgetting. I have a reverse metabolic reaction to the stuff.

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other

All you have to do is think one happy thought, and you'll fly like me.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.