Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now

I want everyone out there in TV land to touch the TV. Touch the back of the TV and get a shock for Jesus.

It's the same sex all the time.

It was kind of a decompression - from straight alcohol to mixed drinks to wine to spritzers - and then you're out.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.