No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.