Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.

Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

I prefer to be handcuffed at home. The idea of voice work to me is great fun, especially when it's a chance to do two different voices.

The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.