Carpe per diem - seize the check.

I couldn't imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, 'Hi, remember me?' And I'm going, 'No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?'

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter.

Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.

My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings. And a favorite book as a child? Growing up, it was 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' - I would read the whole C.S. Lewis series out loud to my kids. I was once reading to Zelda, and she said 'don't do any voices. Just read it as yourself.' So I did, I just read it straight, and she said 'that's better.'

The entire world will be in nuclear war, and only the Swiss will be going, 'what's that noise?'