Carpe per diem - seize the check.

I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!

The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

[On creating] And you get that little endorphin buzz, it's great. Why do you think Einstein looked like that? I don't think he was going "You know this is some dynamite weed! It's all relative you know."

I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.