Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn't matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true.

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

Lance Armstrong pushes the envelope in terms of the human experience. You can have a personal best, you can push your own envelope. For Lance, the person pushing him is him. The only person he's competing with, I think, is himself. To push that limit to the next step. There's a lot to learn from him. Lots.

They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed them