I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp

I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'