I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!

[On creating] And you get that little endorphin buzz, it's great. Why do you think Einstein looked like that? I don't think he was going "You know this is some dynamite weed! It's all relative you know."

If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.

Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.