I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

The sort of liveliness which increases with age is not far distant from madness.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.