Women are wonderful. They're amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They're addicting in the most amazing sense.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.

To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity.

The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.

My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.