I never performed on drugs. That'd be stupid. It's the same thing with athletes. They can't perform when they have cocaine problems.

[when asked about what he was most thankful about]: Being alive. After heart surgery, you dig that part. Breath, family and friends are just amazing. Just to have a second shot is pretty great!

In down times I do things like go for a long bike ride or run. The other thing I'm doing in that quiet time is just observing.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

The world is open for play, that everything and everybody is mockable, in a wonderful way.

If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.