Comedy pays the bills if I can't find a film.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

Lance Armstrong pushes the envelope in terms of the human experience. You can have a personal best, you can push your own envelope. For Lance, the person pushing him is him. The only person he's competing with, I think, is himself. To push that limit to the next step. There's a lot to learn from him. Lots.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.

Dreams don't deal in time. Time doesn't count.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."