If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.
I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Compassionate conservative, that's like having a gun rack on a Volvo.
The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.