What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.
They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed them
The sort of liveliness which increases with age is not far distant from madness.
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.
Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.