In America, they really do mythologize people when they die.

There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'.

Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off.

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!

Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.