Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

We were romantics. We didn't just read poetry. We let it drip from our tongues like honey. Spirits soared. Women swooned, and gods were created, gentlemen. Not a bad way to spend an evening, eh?

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.