Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation.

There's no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

No man is an island; but some are peninsulas.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.