Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.

A woman wouldn't make a bomb that kills you. A woman would make a bomb that makes you feel bad for a while. That's why there should be a woman President. There'd never be any wars, just every twenty-eight days there'd be very intense negotiations.

There's no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.

I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back

When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence

If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.