I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

I never envisioned myself being a film star at all. Most people know that pro wrestling is a little bit of an accident for me. I never really had any real aspirations of being in front of a camera.

Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.

Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.

My business in the beginning was very lawless and the more trouble I go into, the more the promoters liked me back then. I was on the front page for doing something wrong, the arena was full. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed somehow and they put rules in. You put rules in a gunfight? I'm not so good at following those rules. I don't' know what will happen at WrestleMania.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!