I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
Rodney DangerfieldAll my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney DangerfieldWith girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield