I can't figure women out. They put on makeup for three hours. They wear things that make them smaller. Things that make them bigger. Then they meet a man and they want truth.
Rodney DangerfieldI tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney DangerfieldEvery time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'
Rodney Dangerfield