My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.