One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.