One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

Comedy is a camouflage for depression.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.

I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.