One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.