I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

I don't do any corporate work.

You can't fix stupid.

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.

When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.