You can't fix stupid.
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.
My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.