If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks

From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.