Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.

They call me Tater Salad

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.

When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks.