We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron WhiteOther states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
Ron WhiteThere are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.
Ron WhiteI'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don't love them. I don't. I like 'em. $309.
Ron White