Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.