If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.

If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.