I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.