I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.

I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.