I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.

Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks.