I only like the live audience. I don't even like to do standup where it's being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say, because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in a light room, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don't really see myself doing any television at all.

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.

In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!