I only like the live audience. I don't even like to do standup where it's being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say, because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in a light room, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don't really see myself doing any television at all.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.